Im feeling extremely sad today... Because of all the unhappy news mount up to today sadness....
First, I didnt get to offer to cross over to MDES cause Im not deployable.
Although I anticipate that I will not be offer but still feel sad.
Fine...
Expected...
Second, Im not eligible for the 1 more pay increment for my deg cert.
Sadness suddenly change to anger when I knew Im not eligible for the 1 point pay increment. WHY??
1. Im leaving the force..
2. 3 year ranking no good... How to be good when Im leaving the force?
The only criteria I met is that the deg cert is from NTU.
Now Im finding the new aim and motivation to motivate myself go work, dont see any hopes and light. Now work so hard also no used... This year ranking confirm bottom one cause Im leaving next year already = dont need to have good ranking.
Hai.... Stupid management!!

Im got even more sadden when I knew my menses come, suddenly lost the only fighting spirit to be happy. Have been waiting eagerly for the arrival of Friday for my blood test and medical check up, tears drop...... cause I knew i failed the SO IUI process. All the endurance went down the drain... Perhaps I pinned too high hopes so I fall down even more harder when its fail.
Sob Sob...
I tried to hold back my tears but every time I think of it, tears just drop by itself.

Suddenly feel so exhausted, dont wish to move, dont feel like doing anything...